


Snow on Snow

by greyscalerainbows



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Single Parent AU, i'll add characters and relationships as they appear, spau
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-04-01 09:36:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4014745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greyscalerainbows/pseuds/greyscalerainbows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke has spent most of her post-pubescent years caring after her son, John but when the mysterious Lexa with 'pretty hair' walks into her life and refuses to leave, things get complicated</p><p>OR</p><p>Lexa and Clarke flirt too much, Raven is awesome and John is an actual sweetheart</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In the Bleak Midwinter

Clarke used to love Christmas, it was always her favourite time of year, _was_. The city has its perks, the way it just seems to stop for half a second, a barely recognizable moment. The cut-throat nature of the people, who stand vulnerable while they whistle into the haze of traffic hoping to catch the attention of the shrewd little men driving cabs; it softens into the placid hubbub of crowds of family and friends who wait anxiously to grab that new, shiny red bike or that specific box of chocolates. A celebration, a festival for our _saviour_.

_Ring. Ring._

She hears her phone on her bedside table but it’s still too early to consider dragging herself into waking existence and this is the first day off she’s had in a _long_ time. She decides to let it ring, whoever it is can wait ...at least until 9 am.

_“I'll never understand why you chose to get a phone, you never actually answer it. Well, in case you forgot, today we have a date - we're meant to go shopping in about an hour; seriously if you don’t call me back in 30 minutes I’ll be there to wake you myself.”_

Clarke groans as she hears her best friend’s voice and reluctantly rolls over to pick up her phone. 8:43 am it reads and she lets out another muffled groan, locking her screen, she takes in a deep breath, releasing it slowly. This should be a good day.

“John!” she calls through the apartment, the sharp noise of something breaking is her only response. “Fuck, not again” she growls, storming out to find her son and neighbour surrounded by a cloud of smoke and broken glass.

“That. Was. So. Cool!” exclaims the youngster as his hand makes contact with his associate’s “did you see that mum?” he asks, his eyes so full of life that they manage to wipe off the sour look on her face.

“No, unfortunately I didn’t see that” she says trying her best to hold her irritation back “why don’t you go back to the apartment and get cleaned up quickly while I talk to Raven here huh?” a broad smile spreads across his face as he realises his mother isn’t upset and with a cheeky salute he vanishes through the doorway.

“You’re not happy”

“Really? I wonder what gave that away.” Clarke's eyes rage and she bites her tongue. Hard. ”This can wait- go get ready we’re going shopping, Octavia is going to kill me for being late and she’ll be less mad if you’re the reason I’m late.” Clarke spits out and Raven smiles in return.

“Aye aye Captain, I’ll get right to it” she drawls before saluting and turning to walk away- her cheek, Clarke glares in realization, matches Johns.

Alone on the balcony of her neighbour’s apartment, Clarke takes in the city. The figures that shuffle along on the side-walks and strut with long, purposeful strides seem almost amusing, their beaks nuzzled constantly into flapping copies of The Times and their beady eyes flickering towards the screens of their phones. She imagines herself in a few hours, slipped into the void of city life, strands of blonde hair tumbling incessantly into her line of vision as she, herself, shuffles past various buildings. She'd see her reflection, guided by her movements, in the clear glass windows and a very tired 6 year old would moan and whine as he pretended not to be able to keep up. She'd ignore him.

With an artist's eye she comes back into the moment and observes the freckled pattern of the frigid city, the loud colours of the vehicles that complain on the streets, pushing to speed up the slow stream of traffic, and the trodden-on snow that has melted into an undesirable brown in some places. Clarke relaxes into the familiar scene and her clenched fists loosen

* * *

 

“Okay John go get Raven we need to leave be-”

“Octavia Blake in the building bitches” her best friend interrupts as she makes her way into the room “you know Clarke, you really need to learn how to use a phone”

“I know naught of what you speak of. I, Clarke Griffin, am completely capable of using your fancy modern telecommunication devices.” She says haughtily earning a chuckle from the brunette who now slouched on the couch.

“Where’s my favourite little man?”

“Octopus!” a shrill voice exclaims as the owner of it runs into the living room to attack the brunette on the couch with hugs and kisses “you know sometimes I wish you really were an octopus because then, I’d be able to hug you and you’d hug me back but like eight times more”

“John, never change. You are a precious little cinnamon roll. Too good, too pure, never change” she says placing a wet kiss on his cheek which is immediately wiped off a disgruntled face by small delicate hands.

“Alright Clarke, I’m done, let’s get going” says Raven, as she walks into the apartment and smiles. She takes in the scene, plastered on Octavia's face is a shit-eating grin whilst John, slightly upset, tries to wipe smudged lipstick from his cheek.

“Okay now that we’re all here, can we go?” Clarke says capturing the attention of the group, they nod in response, “okay good, John have you got something to keep you warm?” she asks as the group assembles outside her door and she turns the key.

“I never get cold. I have a fire burning deep inside of me that will never go out and will always keep me warm” he exclaims, hand on his heart and tiny eyes alight with humour.

“I hope you’re happy with yourself Griffin” Raven mutters “you’re raising an A-class nerd.”

As the group made their way to the mall, with Clarke constantly fussing and Raven teasing mercilessly, the youngest of them, John, let his eyes wonder to the blur of buildings. Shops tucked themselves into every nook and foreign faces dashed in and out of their warmth. Snow lay dormant in crevices and occasionally his vision would pick out a single snowflake that weaved a web like pattern across itself. He stopped, briefly, absorbed by one such snowflake as it drifted to the ground.

“John” rang out the exasperated tone of his mother and he looked up to see three feminine profiles, whose eyes remained glued to him.

“Coming!” he yelled and jogged to catch up, the tip of his nose going numb from the cold. He wasn't cold though. He wasn't. Still, he welcomed the contrast of the heated cab as he clambered into it. Perching between his mother and Octavia, a wicked grin climbed onto his lips and Raven burst out into rambunctious hoots of laughter in the front seat. The cab driver's lips turned down at the corners and disappeared into his bushy moustache and his watery black eyes squinted into a scowl. Clarke shot razor-sharp daggers at the boy next to her and tried to lean towards the ventilation, while Octavia, always the drama-queen (although perhaps not in this situation) slapped her hands over her air-passages loudly and scrambled as far away from John as possible- trying to open the sealed window with her elbow, making distinct gagging noises.

“Better out than in” John grinned lazily and lounged back into the seat. Clarke worried for the state of her tongue as she bit into it harder and tasted the metallic regret of blood.  
No one could get a word in edgewise over Raven's laughter and the ride to the mall dissolved into one bitter expression, one dramatic, and two joyous. Clarke wondered if a little girl would’ve done that. Probably, with Raven living next door.

The cab driver, practically threw them out when they arrived but waited grudgingly for his money before speeding off.

“Where are we going first?” Octavia asks directing the query to no one in particular. Her question was met by looks of disapproval “oh c’mon, just because it was my idea to come shopping doesn’t mean that I had a schedule planned out. I never plan for anything, you should know that by now and I’m quite offended by the fact that you don’t” she finishes smugly and tosses her head.

The blonde smiles and sighs “well if we go to Toys ‘R’ Us first then this one” she grabbed John by the collar and pulled him back to his place next to her before continuing “is bound to tire himself out and won’t be a nuisance for the next 3 hours...either that or he’ll find a toy that’ll keep him occupied.” John’s face lights up upon hearing his mother mention the toy store that had already caught his eye. “Sound good?” everybody nodded, John rather viciously, and with that, he sprinted towards the bright fluorescent sign that read “Toys ‘R’ Us” with 3 women closely on his tail.

* * *

 

“Oh my goooooood” Raven whined as it had been an entire hour since they’d stepped through the entrance to the toys shop and still, they stood waiting for John to find something.

“Okay, done!” said the youngster with a smile that exposed his teeth, the type of teeth-still-growing smile that made his mother’s heart melt into a puddle at her feet.

“I swear he smiles at me like that on purpose” Clarke hissed to Octavia who just shook her head in response and tucked a strand of coffee-coloured hair behind her right ear as she rolled her eyes.

“Sure when he does it it’s cute and he gets out of trouble...” Raven murmered bitterly “but when I do it it’s ‘no Raven you can’t just sabotage someone’s wifi connection then threaten to sabotage their breaks because they undermined your ability as a mechanic’ and suddenly I’m the bad guy” says the Latina mocking Clarkes “stern-voice” with a pout which is met by a chorus of awwhs from the others.

“Alright, that’s a set of walkie-talkies, a tiara, NERF guns, LEGO and Nanoblocks. Will that be all?” asked the cashier looking at Clarke who in turn faced John. He nodded excitedly in response- his head bobbing rapidly.

She smiled “yes, that will be all thanks,” and with that the cashier loaded all the new purchases into bags, Clarke presented her debit card and they were out.

“Hey Johnny boy, why did you buy a tiara?” asked Octavia pushing the trolley he was sat in. He brought her face down to his mouth with cold hands and whispered something unidentifiable into her ear. Whatever it was earned him a smile and curious, mildly worried looks form Clarke and Raven.

They proceeded through the mall as soft Christmas carols played from the loudspeakers and the smell of cinnamon, pine and peppermint candies plagued the air. Clarke closed her eyes and allowed herself to take it all in; she could hear the cheerful conversations and feel the positive vibes that radiated off of every individual in the mall. Christmas is a good time she tries to convince herself; she will learn to love it again, if not for John then for herself.

“Okay that’s about...” Clarke’s nose crinkled at the bridge slightly as she concluded “a fifth of the shopping we have to do- and it only took us 3 hours, not bad team” Clarke said as she mentally patted herself on the back. You’re not a dog she reminded herself quickly.

“Can we get food now?” asked the other two women who looked ragged with exhaustion.

Clarke rolled her eyes “how is it that” pausing for effect, she let her eyes zip skyward, “I’ve been doing most of the walking and shopping but you’re the ones that are tired and hungry?”

“Hey” Raven protested “doing nothing requires a shed load of work.”

“Whatever you say lazy, let’s just get to the food court.” Clarke replied and the rest stood -John sat up in his trolley and pointed vigorously towards the signs of many fast food joints.

“Ready?”

Octavia nods “Sir, Yes sir!”

“Charge!” he cried and they were off before Clarke could even begin to come to terms with what was happening.

* * *

 

“So John, you never did answer Octavia’s question as to why you bought a tiara.” Clarke said before popping the chip she was eyeing into her mouth with satisfied hum.

“Yeah John, you never did do that, why don’t you tell us now, I need the bathroom” Raven stood abruptly and slinked off.

“Well,” the little boy started off with a nervous quiver to his voice -Octavia poked his side, urging him to go on “I got the tiara because I want to give it to my mum because I think that she needs a reminder that she is a princess and not the type of princess that’s a damsel in distress but the kind of princess like Mulan that defies all odds and don’t need no man or woman, so if you could wear this tiara for the rest of this shopping trip and whenever you feel low that would be pretty great” he finished off the rapid stream of words by releasing a breath that he had no idea he was holding and strided over to place the tiara on his mum’s head -proceeding to clamber onto the table. “Ladies and gentlemen” he called in attempt to gain the attention of the food court. “This isn’t working” he murmured desperately. Octavia looked at him in pity as her phone vibrated against her leg.

“Tell him to speak into the phone, I’ve connected my phone to the mall’s sound system” Raven said as she answered, a smile evident in her voice.

Octavia handed him the phone and he smiled in relief “Ladies and gentlemen, hi” he said as heads turned to face him and he smiled again- giving a small wave “um my name is John and this is my mum Clarke Griffin” he said pointing at the flustered blonde that had tears welling up in her eyes “and um I just really love her a lot” he continued and a chorus of awwhs and some cheers met his childish voice as it projected across the building “see, she’s very pretty and she always makes me feel like the luckiest little boy in the world so today because I wanted to make her feel special and show her my gratitude for being such a great mum, I got her a tiara because she’s a princess and I love her a lot and yeah” he finished off and the spectators erupted into cheers for the little boy and his mother.

“Oh my god John” Clarke said a little breathless, letting her tears fall and sweeping him off the table to envelop him in her arms -showering his face with kisses “I love you so much, it’s us against the world, as long as we have each other we’ll be fine” she said placing a final kiss on his cheek. He returned it with a grin as large as Jupiter.

“You know what I love best about this time of year?” Raven said as she returned to the duo having a moment.

“What?”

“All the ugly sweaters that people have to wear to keep their parents or grandparents happy” Raven answered with a good natured sneer.

“Is there anyone in particular you’re referring to?” Clarke asked optimistically- her eyes gleaming in anticipation.

Raven chuckled “yeah, there was this one girl just outside Foot Locker oh my god” she said before breaking out into a fit of giggles, Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Well then why don’t we go find her? I mean Foot Locker is on the way to the next shop we’re going to so might as well” Octavia cut in, lifting John and placing him back into his spot in the trolley before they sped off in the direction Raven had come from, with the others struggling to keep up.

They were all trying to recover from the laughing fit they had had and John was pouting with his arms crossed over his chest and brows furrowed. “It’s not funny. Hmph” he said causing them to break out into laughter once more.

“We’re not laughing at you little man” Raven said a little breathless “we’re just” before she could finish her sentence she leant forward onto her knees and turned back to laughing.

**4 years ago**

_Clarke didn’t like the idea of having to take John to see his father, especially since she personally didn’t feel comfortable around his corporate environments. Every time she walks into one of these buildings, the corruption smacks her in the face and makes her feel sick to her stomach... Or maybe that’s just the thought of seeing the father of her child._

_Clarke despises taking elevators because there’s always the chance of it being too crowded meaning she’d end up pressed up against some greasy git of a man that manages “accidently” presses his hand against one of two places on her body but she got lucky. It turns out she arrived just before rush hour and the elevators were practically empty. She held on to her son’s gloved hand and gave it a firm squeeze as they ascended to the top floor._

_Ding._

_The elevator came to a stop and its doors slid open welcoming a brunette with long spiraling curls, an inconsistent mat of too many of them to be exact and from the second John saw her hair he was enraptured._

_A gasp fell from the small boys mouth which caused the brunette to shift her attention to below the blonde’s waist and she noticed him ,however, before she could bend down to acknowledge him the blonde broke the silence “going down or up?”_

_The brunette stood there looking at her blankly until she asked again “going down or up?”_

_“Oh right, down but you’re going up so we can start with you and then I can just go back down.” She said with a smile playing at her lips and a twinkle in her olive-coloured eyes, the smile was returned politely by the blonde._

_“Thank you” she said and the other girl raised her eyebrows in recognition of the gratification._

_“Pretty hair” John whispered reminding the two women that they weren’t alone, and the brunette bent down to his level with a genuine smile plastered on her face._

_“Hey little buddy” she said giving him a small wave and Clarke chuckled._

_“You know, he could have been talking about my hair”_

_The brunette looked up at her, still smiling “nah, my hair tends to attract many toddlers, it’s how I get them into my van. Much easier than ice cream” she winked earning a quiet laugh from the blonde._

_She reverted her attention back to the small boy with long hair and blue eyes who held out his hands and a horror-struck look gripped Clarke’s face as she realized what was about to happen. No no no-_

_“owww…whatcha got there buddy?” the other woman said as the toddler pulled on her hair. She skillfully masked pain with a picture perfect smile._

_“Pretty hair” he repeated, preceding a gleeful laugh as he tugged on the handful of hair once more._

_The brunette looked back up at the worried blonde who mouthed the words “I’m sorry”_

_Shaking her head she mouthed back “it’s okay”. Just as John was about to tug on her hair again the bell on the elevator distracted him._

_Ding._

_The elevator came to a stop and John pouted as he took his hands out of her hair and the doors slid open._

_“Have a good day pretty hair” the small boy said with an endearing grin and a wave- his mother gave her a kind smile and she returned it with a nod._

_“Have a good one” she said as the elevator doors closed and she walked quickly into her child’s father’s office._

* * *

 

The group’s laughter had finally died down and to say the look on John’s face was disapproving would be an understatement. “Are you ladies done?” he asked monotonously.

The three friends smiled at him and continued their journey through the mall. It was fairly peaceful with some light conversation until Raven pointed out the girl in the hideous sweater she’d seen earlier. The three ladies were tired out from laughing so much earlier on but it seemed like John had been holding this back for a long time because the sound that came out of his mouth could not have been human. Clarke, Raven and Octavia were left wide-eyed as the boy laughed and pointed. None of them expected that when they walked past the girl he’d say anything, but he did.

“Oh my god mum look at it, it’s atrocious” he said pointing towards the girl in the sweater.

“Atrocious?” asked Raven “I’m like 4 times his age and he uses bigger words than I do.”

A woman came up behind Clarke and said “ma’am um could you please control your child” through gritted teeth.

Clarke smiled “excuse me but do you have kids?” and the woman shook her head “okay good then you of all people should not be telling me about what to do with my child.” She spat out and walked towards the girl in the sweater giving an apologetic smile. “I’m really sorry my” she started off and the girl raised one of her brows “yeah I’m really sorry that” she continued and looked at John who feigned being hurt as he braced himself for his mother’s betrayal, ignoring him and went on “I’m sorry my child pointed out that your sweater is- actually no I agree that sweater is horrendous” she said with a small laugh that she covered up with a cough.

The brunette’s mouth opened and closed as she searched for the right words to say under the circumstances. “That’s big talk coming from someone wearing a tiara” she shot back, arrogance evident on her face.

Clarke scoffed, with an amused smile playing on her lips “I’ll have you know that I am wearing this crown because I’ve been announced a princess, you should consider yourself lucky for even having the chance to talk to me.”

The brunette cocked her head to the side before bowing and getting down on one knee “well, excuse me then Your Highness, how completely and utterly rude of me, I should know a princess when I see one, how may I be of service to you?” she deadpanned before letting a giggle slip.

Clarke chuckled lightly and said “you should consider acting; you almost had me for a second there”

The girl stood up and looked at her “thank you” she smiled “Princess-”

“Clarke” she interrupted and the brunette gave a sly nod.

“Princess Clarke, it has a ring to it, if you hadn’t offended my sweater earlier I might’ve become your loyal servant”

“Is that so?” Clarke asked with an eyebrow raised “because if I know anything about monarchy, regardless of what the Princess says, you have to serve her- or you face some dire consequences” her voice dropped into a low and husky tone.

“True, but I could just overthrow you and claim the crown for myself, then you’d have to serve me” she replied taking a step closer, causing Clarke’s breath to hitch in her throat.

This is not a normal exchange. This is not how two strangers speak to each other, in a public environment of all places, could this be one of the store’s policies? Flirt with every customer because if it was, then she was damn good at it. The brunette held a fixed gaze on the blonde, a smirk evident on her lips, almost as if she could read her thoughts.

“Oh my god Clarke” Raven started and the moment ended “for the sake of the innocent could you learn to keep it in your pants?” she said a little too loudly and when Clarke turned around to look for the girl, she was gone.

"Is it just me or did she have really pretty hair?" John asked bringing Clarke back down to reality.

* * *

 

“Lexa, you’re not wearing the sweater” Anya, her sister, commented as she walked out of her room.

Lexa groaned “do I really have to?” she earned a look from Anya and muttered something quietly to herself as she retreated into her room to fetch the awful thing.

Every once in a while the two go to visit their mother – it’s necessary they wear the sweaters their mother got them about two Christmases ago in order to keep the peace. They’re both not fans of the sweaters but  
Anya would rather wear it and be done with it for another year whereas Lexa tries to get herself out of it every single year.

The garment that Lexa emerges in is loud and ugly, traditional colours twist into the seemingly random pattern gregariously and the flecks of green on the muddy brown base remind the girls unavoidably of vomit. A badly knitted reindeer that looks far too dog-like for comfort, stares out of the bust with uneven red eyes that match his nose, but would scare the living day-lights out of most children. On the back of her mother’s masterpiece Lexa can feel the weight of the reindeer’s tail as it emerges like some ungodly toothbrush from the sweater and she feels the urge to rip it off. Anya’s sweater is nearly as bad, but at least the snowman looks relatively cheery and the red wool that he rests on doesn’t look like sick.

“Ready?” Anya asked her younger sister as she walked into the common area to which she received a nod in response.

The two took off. The car ride there was mostly silent; it wasn’t awkward though; it was a comfortable silence with the radio humming in the background as the signal weakened the further away they got from the city.

“Why’re we stopping?” Lexa asked as the car came to a stop and she took in her surroundings “this is not mum’s house”

Anya smiled “nothing gets by you huh? I need to get something for mum real quick, please come with?” she said holding her hands together and Lexa rolled her eyes as she stepped out of the car and the tip of her nose started numbing from the cold.

“Let’s go”

They walked until Anya disappeared and left Lexa alone outside a Foot Locker and as she observed the faces of people walking past she realized that she left her hideous sweater on. Great. “Where are you?” Lexa spoke into her phone

“What do you mean where am I? The real question is where you are” Anya said back and Lexa pulled a face. It was so typical of her sister to step into a shopping centre for something small and end up sidetracked.

Lexa stood in place, desperately waiting for her sister to come back. Although she hated being left alone in the middle of a shopping mall, she couldn’t help but take it as an opportunity to observe. People bounded around in groups ranging in size and stepped out of stores with translucent plastic bags that carried what must be triple the recommended weight. Kids were strapped into trolleys or held sternly by an adults side and teenagers roamed freely often with a brooding pout that seemed to go hand in hand with hormones and acne.

A family of two caught her eye a little way away and she focussed on the girl who held a cookie easily as big as her head, with a fantastic Christmas-grin and two auburn pigtails that her father gently brushed crumbs out of as he knelt in front of her.

That’s when she recognised the Latina that walked by earlier, except she was with two other women and a young boy. She knew the boy instantly; she’d never forget those piercing blue eyes. About four years ago he ended up playing tug of war with her hair in an elevator. They seemed to be enjoying each others’ company on what she assumed was a shopping trip. Never in a million years did she expect the little boy to approach her and express his feelings towards the sweater she’d forgotten she was wearing.

Anya walked back to the spot where she’d left Lexa and witnessed the exchange between Lexa and the familiar blonde, she smiled to herself. One of the blonde’s friends came up to her and ended the moment between the two.

Anya watched as her sister approached her with her cheeks flushing a bright pink. “So, are you still mad that I left you alone, Simon Cowell?”

Her sister looked at her and smiled upon getting her reference “her name is Clarke and yes I still hate you.” She jabbed playfully and proceeded to the exit of the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (because Simon Cowell is rly pink, get it? :P)  
> Love it, hate it? Let me know!  
> Okay so for John..imagine John Murphy but 6 years old, yeah that's what he looks like.  
> You can find me on tumblr under ttoxiccity for questions or just to chat.  
> Thank you for reading :)


	2. About Today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy have lunch while Octavia and Raven take John out

“Yes mum” Lexa says with a smile still plastered on her face, allowing her mother to continue talking. She simply nods and hums in agreement as they approach the car. Anya unlocks the car and they’re met with a final ambush of affection from their mother.

****  
“Shut the fuck up some of us is trying to sleep!” a disembodied voice shouts into the streets.

 

“Oh go fuck yourself” Anya yells back, receiving a stern look from her mother “your pansy ass can deal with five more minutes of noise while I say goodbye to my own mother. If the noise is really bothering you then why don’t you come out here and say it to my face? The fuck is wrong with you?” she finishes off, directing the statement to no one in particular.

 

“This is where I would tell you off for your language but in all honesty you got to them before I did” their mother says with a smile before pulling them both in for a final hug “behave and make sure you call me when you get home,” they both nod in response before they get into the car.

 

There’s no such thing as a city that never sleeps. The drive home; was nothing like the drive on the way there. The city is slowly switching off in preparation for the next day, the streets clear themselves and the lights in apartments and offices flicker off and all that’s left are headlights and street lamps. Lexa closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, she lets herself drift off into darkness, the hum of the radio softens and all the lights disappear.

 

She’s woken up by her sister gently nudging her arm and telling her that she has to wake up because there’s no way that she’s going to carry her. She musters up enough strength to walk into the building and take the lift up to their apartment. She didn’t have to walk very far to find herself passed out on the couch.

* * *

**6 years ago**

_“What do you mean you can’t?” Clarke asks her boyfriend as he opens up his bag, taking out his laptop and some files and heads to his study room._

_“Look Clarke, I can’t talk about this right now I have deadlines to meet. This is important” he says calmly as the laptop starts up._

_“Are you serious right now?” she shot back, anger evident in her voice “you have ‘deadlines’ to meet so we can’t talk about the fact that I just told you I’m fucking pregnant?”_

_He turns on his chair and puts his head between his hands, running one through his hair, and sighs “okay you want to talk? Let’s talk. So you’re pregnant, what am I supposed to do about that? What do you expect from me Clarke?”_

_“Finn, you do realise this baby is as much yours as it is mine right? I mean I shouldn’t need to get into the mechanics of it all because I’m sure you already know how it works.” She takes a deep breath before proceeding “I want to keep it”_

_“You what?” he says, getting up slowly._

_“I said I want to keep it Finn” she said as he stood in front of her, narrowing his eyes at her._

_“And then what’re you going to do?” his voice is cold “do you expect me to drop everything I’ve worked for to go and play house with you?” he takes a step closer and she takes one back._

_“I’m not asking you to do anything and even if I was it seems like you’ve already got your mind made up” she spat out._

_A soft smile formed on his lips “this is stupid Clarke, don’t be stupid. You’re a smart girl and this is just a mistake, you can fix it, just get rid of it and we can pretend it never happened.” The look on the blonde’s face was wary as she took in the words that came out of the boy’s mouth._

_“I see” she said dryly after a few moments of silence and turned away to pack her bags, leaving him in the room staring blankly at the wall._

__

_She made a quick call and turned to him, she felt so vulnerable. Tears were welling up in her eyes and her lips were quivering but she kept her voice steady “I know this wasn’t planned for so I can’t really be mad at you for saying what you did, I guess I just thought you’d fight for me” she blinks and lets a couple of tears fall and letting out bitter laugh through the tears “I’m not going to give you an ultimatum but if you ever do change your mind, you know where I’ll be”_

_Her best friend showed up at the door in less than five minutes and helped the blonde bring down her bags as Finn stood in the common area, silently watching. “Clar-” he started only to be cut off by Octavia._

_“No Finn. Not now, let her have time to herself away from here and I believe that when she wants to talk to you she’ll let you know.” The brunette said sternly and watched his face fall as he headed to his room. She closed the door to his apartment for the last time._

_Clarke holds her composure and breathes slowly as they drive to Octavia’s apartment swallowing the lump in her throat. They drive in silence and she’s thankful for her best friend’s understanding._

_“How’d it go?” Bellamy asked as he opened the door and Clarke shook her head with a sad smile on her face as the tears started to well up again. He opened his arms and enveloped her in them and she let herself break. His shoulder offered a steady rest for her head as she burrowed deeper into it, tears leaked sullenly from her eyes, screwed shut as she tried to hold them back. Sobs escaped her and her lungs suddenly felt as if they were made of iron, it was painful to try and weep with iron lungs.The pain pushed her further as she tried to seal her lips shut but found herself parting them for heavy breaths and laboured sobs.It seemed to slow , occasionally, but then his face flashed behind her eyelids and it’d start again- renewed._

_When she finally ran out of energy or water or whatever it was that fueled a broken soul, Bellamy took her into his room and tucked her in. The next morning no one talked about it. The weeks turned into months and it was almost as if it never happened -the baby growing inside of her was a miracle._

* * *

The smell of pancakes filled the air and she followed it to her kitchen where she found Raven and John making breakfast. She smiled softly and stood watching them work until John turned around and noticed her proceeding to give her a hug “morning mummy” he said with his face buried in her waist.

 

“Mmmm you’re not getting off so easy, what did you break?” Clarke asked looking at the younger boy with raised eyebrows.

 

He looks up with an innocent smile “I promise there's nothing broken here” a giggle earned him a sly look from his mother. He raised his hand to his heart sharply before decreeing “scouts honour,” an edge of mockery to his tone.

 

“Okay you're off the hook...until I find what you did” Clarke said walking towards the island topped with food “you're never nice there's definitely something going on,” picking up a pancake and taking a bite out of it. "I'm going to marry this" she proclaimed moaning – which earned her a smug look from Raven.

 

Raven smiled “Bellamy will be here in a while, I'll go get this one cleaned up and then you can do whatever it is you two do when you're together”

 

“Mostly just arguing about things like The Library of Alexandria” John muttered.

 

Raven laughed lightly “alright little man, are you ready for a day with Octavia and I?” He nodded, “Perfect. Alright Clarke we cooked so you have to clean up.”

 

Clarke rolled her eyes playfully with a smile on her face. Of course. “Did Bel say what time he’d be here?”

 

Both Raven and John shook their heads no, “he just said be ready,” Raven said with a shrug as she took her jacket and grabbed John’s hand “now Clarkey, I know this is the first time we’ve left you home alone so please don’t be too destructive and if you miss us, don’t call because we’ll be busy avoiding you” Raven hissed at the jab in response. “Owwww” she whined while rubbing her stomach dramatically.

 

“To be fair,” John started, “you kinda asked for that”.

Clarke smiled “and that” she said taking his face in her hands “is why you’re my favourite”

* * *

“Clarke!” Bellamy’s voice echoed through the apartment as he made his way in, he could hear water running and shook his head because of course Clarke had just gotten into the shower.

 

“Shower!” she called back “Out in a minute!” and knowing Clarke he knew that she would not be a minute and it would be best if he got himself comfortable.

 

“You might wanna get a coat too!” he shouted back and proceeded to slouch on the couch.

 

Half an hour later Clarke walked out of her room in a loose white v-neck and black jeans, Bellamy smirked as she walked in, “God Clarke we’ve talked about this, I can’t be with you, you’re a Montague and I’m a Capulet, it’s forbidden,” he said dramatically, hand on his forehead and eyes closed for effect, “make this easy for me Romeo, don’t throw yourself at me.”

 

Clarke crossed her arms and looked at the floppy-haired boy with an amused smile on her face, “remind me why we’re friends again?”

 

Bellamy got up and grinned, “Because no one will talk about The Library of Alexandria with you,” Clarke opened her mouth to protest but accepted defeat and remained silent, “who ever let you become a mother? I mean seriously this place is a pig sty,” he stated referring to the pile of dishes in the sink.

 

“Hey if you want to have a go at it then please, be my guest”

 

“No. Any other day I would but you made me late,” he looked at her and raised a brow, “so no coat?”

 

“It’s not even that cold c’mon lets go.”

 

“Okay but when you get cold, I will say I told you so,” he said grabbing her hand. Clarke muttered insults as she was dragged out of her apartment by her best friend’s brother.

* * *

 

The two walked through the streets in a heavy debate about the magnificence and importance of books. The conversation was filled with groans from blonde and proud smirks from the floppy-haired male.

 

“I’m just saying Clarke,” he said stopping to hold open the door for her, “if it didn’t burn down can you imagine the calibre at which humans would function?”

 

“I know but at the same time don’t you think that losing all of that knowledge and culture has led to us being able to do what we can do now,” Clarke said, more of a statement than question, as she took a seat.

 

“But just imagine how cultured we’d be and how much we’d know” he responded, picking up a menu.

 

“Please, have you met me? I’m as cultured as the human race is ever going to get,” she said with a cocky smirk and Bellamy shook his head and sighed.

 

“I guess we have no option but to pray for the best,” he said looking up from the menu, “where are we?”

 

The blonde shrugged “Trikru Café, Octavia recommended it. It’s new and apparently they have the best burgers.”

 

Bellamy narrowed his eyes and hummed “I’ll be the judge of that I think.”

 

The two ordered drinks and continued their discussion... above the preferred inside volume for most of the customers who shot them dirty looks but weren’t ballsy enough to say anything. Often making the duo erupt in laughter, resulting in even dirtier looks.

 

A perky girl beautiful brown skin and wild hair held back in a ponytail walked up to the duo and their conversation died down, “hey I’m Costia and I will be your server,” she says flashing a smile, “are you two ready to order?”

 

Bellamy opened his mouth but the words came from the blonde sat opposite him, “hello Costia, yes we’re ready to order,” Clarke said with a smile, “we’ll both have the infamous grounder burger with a side of fries.” Costia scribbled onto a notebook and looked up expectantly.

 

“Will that be all?”

 

Bellamy turned to Clarke who looked at Costia, “yes that’ll be all, but please keep the drinks coming, like what is this stuff?”

 

Costia giggled softly, “it’s Pitaya, more commonly known as Dragon fruit.”

 

“Will I turn into a dragon?” she asked and Bellamy shook his head.

 

“Please ignore her.”

 

Costia gave a small smile and nod, “your food will be ready in about 25 minutes, if you need anything more don’t hesitate to call for me.”

 

The girl walked off and the two resumed their conversation, Bellamy was on the verge of ripping out his hair while Clarke threw her head back with laughter at his reactions to their contradictory views.

 

A few minutes passed before Costia walked towards the duo with two plates, “one grounder burger for you,” she said placing a plate down in front of the brunette, “and one for you.”

 

“Thank you” Bellamy smiled,  Costia returned it sweetly.

 

“Enjoy your meal” she said brightly.

 

She was about to walk off but was held back when she heard, “you too,” coming from the table and turned around to find a pink-faced Clarke with hands over her face and laughing Bellamy, “I-it’s not that. Uh what I-uhh,” the blonde tripped over her own words trying to explain herself and the smile on Costia’s face grew into an amused smirk. “I just meant to say yeah I don’t know,” she said feeling the heat rushing to her cheeks again.

 

“You’ll have to forgive her.” Bellamy said and Costia gave a small nod and proceeded to walk away.

 

Alone again, the duo picked up their forks and clinked them together “bon appetite” said Bellamy and cut a piece from his burger as opposite him the blonde took a bite from hers and moaned in the midst of chewing “ffrm fllmr grrmm rrff” she gibbered incoherently -her friend looked at her pointedly.

“Yes, of course, me too,” he said popping a piece of burger into his mouth and following the blonde’s actions with wide eyes.

“I told you so,” she said and they continued their meals, an occasional moan disrupting the silence.

* * *

 

With the bill split and a generous tip left on the table, they walked out of the building and the faint smells of coffee and cinnamon were replaced by exhaust fumes. The warmth of the cafe left them shocked as they stepped into the chill of the streets, the air biting at their ankles as they huddled into each other and picked up their speed.

Conversation flowed freely between them but was interrupted by a faint buzzing from Bellamy’s pocket.

“Blake” he said pressing the device to the side of his face.

_“Ew don’t answer your phone like that,”_ the voice said and Bellamy sighed.

“Always nice to talk to you Raven,” her laughter could be heard distantly.

“Raven? Oh my god I need to talk to her,” Clarke said grabbing the phone out of his hands.

“Oh Clarke you wanna talk to Raven? Sure, go ahead.” The taller male complained earning a glare from the blonde.

“Please tell me my son is still alive.”

Raven chuckled softly _“yes he is alive and well, it’s okay to get him ice cream in this weather right?”_

Clarke’s eyes widened and she sighed into the phone as she heard Octavia’s voice and Raven’s laughter “I really do wonder why I allow you to take him out, what’s going on?”

_“Nothing, John’s just being a normal six year-old and Octavia isn’t fond of my affections turning in other directions.”_

_“Is that Clarke? Give me the phone”_ Clarke heard her say and smiled softly _“Why didn’t you think it would be useful for us to know about how picky your son is about pretty much anything?”_ Octavia fumed and Clarke cackled.

“I thought you would’ve been able to put that together Major Blake, he is my son after all.”

_“I don’t like you right now. Bye.”_

Bellamy snatched his phone from the blonde’s grasp and raised his eyebrows “you’re not getting an apology, you should be used to this by now Minor Blake,” the blonde said as she continued to walk.

“Fine,” he said accepting defeat, “but why is she Major Blake?”

Clarke shook her head “remind me to tell you when we’re all together,” she continued walk until she felt the sharp feeling of snow on her neck and water down her back, she turned to find him with a dopey grin. His eyes widened as he realised what he’d started and he broke out into a sprint.

* * *

 

Lexa had woken up on her couch, exactly where she fell asleep and her sister had made breakfast. She smiled lazily as she walked up to the island and saw two cups of coffee and she hummed holding her cup to bring it up to her lips, happily welcoming the warmth.

“Have I told you that I love you lately?”

Her sister smiled and threw a dish towel onto the island as she picked up her own cup, “only every time I cook,” she took a sip and placed the cup back down, “my coffee making skills are amazing,” Lexa rolled her eyes at the side comment, “but anyways, what are you doing today?”

Lexa closed her eyes as she took another sip of the warm liquid, “I don’t know,” she opened her eyes and looked around the room, they landed on her camera, “I think I’ll take some pictures, I haven’t taken any in a few weeks,” she finished off earning a nod from the other girl.

“Well I’m going to meet up with Lincoln and Costia, you are joining us when you’re done.” Lexa opened her mouth but Anya held up her hand and she slouched, accepting her fate.

“Fine, I’ll come are we meeting at the cafe?” she asked and Anya nodded, “okay I’ll meet you there” Lexa headed to the shower.

The brunette walked out of her apartment building, the chill becoming evident from the second she stepped out.

She walked the streets looking for people to photograph but it was so cold the streets were practically empty; she sat on a park bench and enjoyed the stillness. The feeling of her phone vibrating in her pocket broke her trance-like state.

 

 

**Costia**

_**last seen 9:50 am** _

 

**[9.32am] Costia:** don’t think about bailing.

Lexa chuckled softly and typed out a reply.

 

      **[9.32am] Lexa:** are you kidding me?

Anya will murder me if i do.

**[9.33am] Costia:** she’s not the only one.

**[9.34am] Lexa:** I’ll show. Later x

**[9.34am] Costia:** x

She put her phone back in her pocket as she saw a familiar long-haired boy holding hands with two women -she followed.

Nico’s was the place, according to the fluorescent sign outside the ice cream parlour / bakery. She walked in slowly and felt the feeling return to her face and fingertips as she warmed up.

The blue-eyed brunette got off the phone and advanced in, taking the little boy to the counter, Lexa watched as his eyes lit up at all the different flavours. The Latina joined them and looked at her friend with raised eyebrows as she said something just out of Lexa’s hearing range.

She watched the little boy pick out his ice cream flavours and pout when he was given his cone, he whined and Raven sighed, kindly asking the man behind the counter to change whatever was wrong with it.

She made her way to the trio, “um hi,” she said awkwardly and the two girls turned to face her, a smirk growing on the Latina’s face.

“You’re the girl with the really ugly sweater,” Octavia said with a light laugh.

Lexa nodded, “yes that would be me,” she looked down then looked back up, “um I’m doing this thing, it’s kind of like the Humans of New York thing it’s for my own project as a part of Jaha Magazine’s photo team and I was wondering if you would like to be a part of it?”

Raven’s eyes lit up at the offer, “yes” she said excitedly and Octavia groaned.

“Alright, so do you want to do it here or outside?” Lexa asked taking her camera out of its bag.

“I think outside,” Raven smiled and headed for the door with Lexa and the other two behind them.

Lexa held the camera up to her face while Raven smiled and she quickly captured it, she walked up to the Latina and stood next to her, showing her the picture, “perfect,” she smiled and Lexa took out her notebook and started scribbling something down.

“What do you want me to caption this?” Lexa asked and Raven looked up from the camera.

“Something that captures me you know. I love cracking wise, talking sass and making things blow up,” Raven said and Lexa wrote it down with a smile.

“Do you want your picture taken?” she asked Octavia who shrugged.

“Why the hell not let’s do this” she said as Raven handed Lexa back her camera and Octavia looked into the distance waiting for her cue, she let her mind wander and found herself smiling - Lexa instantly captured it.

“Wait I wasn’t ready,” Octavia said wide-eyed.

“That’s kind the point,” she walked up to her and showed her the picture and Octavia couldn’t help but smile.

“Okay I guess that’s pretty good,” Lexa handed her the camera while she wrote in her notebook “I think you should caption it, I want to punch guys in the throat but I also want to catch fireflies and pick flowers.”

Lexa smiled as she wrote it down, she took her camera and John looked up at her with hopeful eyes, “yes superstar, you’re next.”

The boy narrowed his eyes at the ice cream cone in his hands and brought it to his mouth, scooping some into his mouth with tongue. It turned out to be too much as he closed his eyes and opened his eyes and Lexa took the picture and asked him about what he thought as she showed him.

“You’re really good” he said seriously, momentarily tearing his gaze from his ice cream, “you should photograph my party” he said as he continued to work on his ice cream.

She gave a soft smiled, “tell me about yourself.”

He looked up with innocent blue eyes and furrowed his brows, then commenced to talk about himself from the time he took a mud bath and waddled through the living room to the time he built a pillow fort with his mother and her friends.

The photographer wrote down everything he said word for word and packed up her equipment turning to look at the two girls, “thank you for cooperating,” she smiled.

“Thank you for letting us participate” Octavia said and Lexa gave a small nod before walking away.

* * *

 

Clarke and Bellamy arrived at the apartment only minutes before Raven, Octavia and John. Once they were all settled and sitting in the common area drinking hot chocolate by the fire the conversation flowed lightly.

“Well John, why don’t you tell us about your day?” Bellamy asked the little boy who was curled up on the couch opposite him with his head on his mother’s chest.

The little boy mumbled and then sat up and said “Raven took us to her mechanics lab and showed me what she’s working on but I can’t talk about it because I’m sure it’s illegal, Octavia took us go-karting and we ate really nice hot dogs and then we went to Nico’s and got our pictures taken so now we’re celebrities.”

Clarke looked at Bellamy who looked at Octavia, “remember the girl with the ugly sweater?”

“The one you were about to throw your clothes off for,” Raven added.

“Always lovely when you contribute” Clarke said as John giggled beside her, “yes I know the one, what about her?”

“Well, she is a photographer and she took our pictures for this thing, kind of like that dude and Humans of New York” Octavia said.

****  


“My God is her camera okay?” Bellamy asked and received a couple of pillows to the face from the two girls.

“Anyways, yeah so I’m guessing they’ll be posted on the internet” Raven finished off for her friend.

“Did she say what magazine it was for?” Clarke asked.

“Jaha or something” Raven answered as she tried to fish out a marshmallow from her drink.

Clarke got up and went to retrieve her computer from her room as she searched for the magazine name and searched through its website until she stumbled upon its photo team and found the girl she was looking for ‘ _Alexandria Silvanus, 26_ ’ and underneath was a link to her blog.

“Whatcha doing there princess?” asked Bellamy from the couch and she swatted him away with her hand.

The page opened- there was a picture of her son with a crinkled nose, eyes closed and an ice cream in hand, the caption read: _“I got two ice creams today. This is my second, the first one had chocolate sprinkles so I spent most of my time removing them and it melted, so I got another with rainbow sprinkles. I prefer rainbow sprinkles to chocolate ones.”_

****  


She couldn’t hold back the smile at the caption that captured her son so perfectly -she didn’t even care that Raven had taken him for ice cream against her wishes.

She smiled softly then browsed through a few more posts until she made the decision to click the follow button in the top right hand corner.

She closed her laptop and went back to her spot next to her son, who curled up next to her and hummed, “you’re warm.”

The blonde smiled as she held him in her arms and watched her friends argue over God knows what.

In that moment, surrounded by the people who loved her the most and the person she loved the most in her arms, she knew things would be okay.

* * *

 

Clarke watched them with a smile on her face until she felt a pillow on her head, looking around the room for the culprit, none of the faces looked guilty until Raven broke out into a fit of giggles and gave herself up.

“Well, now that you’re here with us, shall we watch a movie?” Octavia suggested.

“No” Bellamy protested, “every time we watch a movie here, we always watch the same movie and I have to sit through 2 hours of you singing -then I have to put up with Octavia’s singing for 3 more days after that,”

“Awwh” Raven cooed, “Minor Blake actually thinks he has a say” she finished off and pinched his cheeks but was quickly swatted away.

“Yeah, why am I Minor Blake?” he asked holding back a pout.

“Because, Octavia is the reason we’re all friends and she’s cooler than you” Raven replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“That is so untrue? You guys only met Octavia because I wanted to go to the ice skating rink and our mother insisted that I take her” he said and Clarke groaned.

“Yes you’re the reason I went to the rink but you pushed over Clarke and I went over to help her and we became friends because we all decided to push you over” Octavia said slowly, “I guess that kind of does make you the reason.”

“Bellamy, you don’t get to pick your nicknames and plus you don’t agree with me and my views of space so you’re Minor and O is Major, end of.” Clarke said, trying to put an end to it.

Octavia smiled “Exactly Bellamy, I’m Major, Octavia Blake the major-”

“Bitch” Bellamy completed the phrase, folding his arms over his chest while Clarke and Raven laughed their heads off.

The blonde stood up with John in her arms, his legs wrapped around her waist and his head on her shoulder, and slightly lost balance, “heavier than he looks eh?” Bellamy said with a smirk and she rolled her eyes and went into his room to tuck him into bed.

 

Once he was tucked into bed she placed a soft kiss on his forehead and whispering an ‘I love you’ that he sleepily returned.

She closed his door and walked back to where she left her friend only to find Bellamy and Octavia arm wrestling and Raven umpiring the whole thing. Clarke snuck up behind him and poked his sides causing him to momentarily lose focus and allowing Octavia to pin his arm down.

“Yes!” she exclaimed throwing her fists in the air.

“You cheated!”

“Street rules” Raven and Clarke said in unison as they exchanged a high-five.

Bellamy grumbled while muttering insults under his breath and Clarke laughed as she took a seat next to him ,“sorry baby,” she put her hands together, “who is actually staying and who do I need to kick out?”

Bellamy stood up and grabbed his coat “well, I have an important meeting tomorrow so I should get going, O?”

The younger Blake looked at him as if he were talking to himself “no I’m fine here, thanks.”

He sighed “Octavia, you have a big day tomorrow as well, c’mon” he said gesturing to the door and she groaned and reluctantly got up to follow him.

“if you two do anything, make sure you record it so I can watch it later” she said blowing them a kiss before closing the door behind her.

“And then there were two”

* * *

 

It was almost 2am and Clarke had been awake for too long. She was sprawled across the carpet with Raven beside her.

“Clarke!” she called out in frustration as a smile spread across her face, “no no don’t do that. I’m not saying aliens aren’t real but your arguments aren’t really justifiable. We were in the same physics class, I even tutored you, what do you mean how is the universe infinite?”

“No seriously Raven think about this, how is the universe even a real thing if it’s infinite?” She asked seriously and Raven sighed.

“Clarke…the red shift- this is basic astronomy”

“Yeah I get that but like imagine you could breathe in space and like something happened and you were exiled from Earth and you were in space, what happens then?”

Raven looked her and deadpanned “are you on drugs?”

Clarke erupted into a fit of giggles “no Raven I am not on drugs but seriously think about it, would you float forever and ever with no end or would you like never die because there’s no oxygen so you don’t age?” disbelief took over the Latina’s face as she spoke, “I don’t know man this just trips me up.”

“Y’know, I want some of whatever you’re smoking” she said as she earned her second jab of the day from the blonde “you know you don’t look like you punch that hard.”

“I know,” she smiled “it’s the perfect disguise.”

The two sat in silence, staring at the ceiling, the silence spoke for itself. They stayed like that until the blonde found herself falling asleep, “mmm Raven” she mumbled and the Latina hummed in response “bed.” she felt herself being lifted from the floor.

  
She felt the familiarity of her sheets and curled up into a ball, closing her eyes and allowing sleep to take over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me almost a month to choke out and I'm sorry for the delay but 1000+ hits *screams internally* that's amazing, I'm just glad people are reading the story because I really enjoy writing it. The chapters are named after a lyric or a song that helped me write the push out the chapter just so you know, there isn't really any deep meaning behind them. 
> 
> Oh Lexa's last name is a bit different but that's because I didn't really feel like jumping on the train of Woods/Heda etc etc so I did some research and this is what I came up with:
> 
> Silvanus (sil-vay-nus), it comes from Roman Mythology and Silvanus is "tutelary spirit or deity of woods and fields and protector of forests" which I think was perfect for the Grounder Commander :)
> 
> Let me know how you find it and if you want to say hi or ask about the fic find me on tumblr @ ttoxiccity


	3. If You Want To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Raven go out for breakfast. Raven meets Anya and Lexa grows a pair.

Lexa was used to rude awakenings after a late night out. She’d experienced it all from the time Lincoln found a stray dog and let it lick her face, to when Anya let a couple of guys use their garage to rehearse for a gig but today, yeah today had to take the cake.

She could hear music blaring from the speakers in the common area, Anya’s favourite - _Red Hot Chili Peppers_ \- but she’d had no intention of getting out of bed just yet so she covered her ears with her pillow and slowly started to drift back to sleep.

No less than five minutes later, she could hear someone banging what sounded like a cheese grater, in attempt to imitate the sound of a cowbell but, being Lexa, she truly believed she could sleep through it. She took a deep breath and released it slowly and continued to do so until she fell asleep again.

Despite being asleep, she picked up on the hushed voices that now occupied her room but chose to pay no attention to them until she felt her bed shift on either side of her. Her eyes shot open to reveal a smiling Lincoln and smirking Anya, they briefly exchanged a look before they started singing along to the Red Hot Chili Peppers’, _Hump De Bump_ and well, in lack of better phrasing, ‘humped the bump’.

“I hate both of you so much I hope you know that.” Lexa growled as the duo erupted into a fit of giggles and got off the bed.

“C’mon Lex, you love it.” Lincoln laughed as he dodged a pillow that had been hauled in his direction.

“Thanks Linc.” Anya says blowing him a kiss as he walks out of the room, “get out of bed, we need to go to the cafe.”

“You made me go out last night, isn’t that enough?” Lexa complained and Anya just rolled her eyes at her.

“If you put as much effort into doing things as you do in complaining, you’d actually get things done.” She walked into the bathroom and left the shower running, “there, the water will be hot when you get in but we’re leaving in fifteen minutes, if you’re not ready you’re leaving in whatever state you’re in at the time.”

Lexa mumbles an agreement and Anya walks out of the room with a proud smirk.

_Lexa: 0 Anya: 1_

 

* * *

 

Clarke wakes up next to Raven and sighs as she gets up to check the time _09:53._

_Shit._

She gets up in a panic and starts getting dressed, calling for John, only to get no response. The commotion disturbs Raven and she looks anything but pleased about being woken up by such a ruckus.

She groans and throws a pillow over her head, “okay what the hell Clarke?”

Clarke’s head whips round, “John. Grandparents. Today,” and this causes Raven to groan some more and mumble insults into the pillow which only earns her a thwack to the back of the head from the flustered blonde.

“I want out of this relationship, you abuse me” she whines, rubbing the now sore spot on her head “I already took care of it. Your mum and dad came over and took him, your alarm went off but you were dead asleep so I just took care of it for you.”

Clarke stilled at this, toothbrush hanging out of her foam-covered mouth, looking like a rabid dog “wait what?”

Raven sighed and pushed the covers off of her. “John is with your parents,” she said, enunciating every word slowly, “but if this is what I get for helping you out then remind me never to do so again.”

Clarke went to the bathroom to rinse out her mouth and Raven waited as she heard the tap being shut off and a toothbrush being put back into its cup beside the sink, “oh,” was all she could say as she walked back into the room, to find a very unhappy Raven.

“Yeah, exactly.” She furrows her brows, “I would say _‘oh’_ sounds about right. I think you owe me breakfast.”

Clarke smiles and hums in agreement, “only after you shower- and you know some people like to leave notes when they want someone who has just woken up to know something.”

“Well some people like to be thanked with pancakes in bed not a thwack to the head,” she says with a pout and Clarke kisses her cheek, “now throw a stack of pancakes on top of that and you’ll be forgiven.”

Raven stands and heads to the shower, “I’m going to use your fancy shampoo,” and before Clarke can even think about protesting, the door is closed and the water is running as Raven – ironically – sings Frozen’s ‘Love Is An Open Door’.

 

* * *

 

Thirty minutes later, Raven is dressed and standing in the kitchen, “I believe I was promised pancakes.”

Clarke smiles “yes, you were come on, I know a place.”

Walking outside the duo immediately acknowledge the cold wind blowing, losing feeling in their glove protected fingers.

“Seriously why do I live on the East Coast?” Raven asks, rubbing her hands together desperately trying to get some feeling in them.

“Because I live here and I promise you food and love every now and then,” Clarke replies with a slight smile that pulls at her dry lips, “did my parents say anything?”

This was always a heavy topic and everyone around at the time knew to tread carefully around Clarke when her parents were brought up. Which is why Clarke asked no one but Raven; because she knew that if someone was going to be honest with her it’d be the Latina.

“Your mum said she can’t make it to John’s birthday but she hopes to see the pictures the photographer takes, your dad said he wants to see you for coffee and they both commented on the dishes, you really should clean up the apartment Clarke,” Raven laughs lightly as the blonde’s fist connects with her arm, “no but really that was it.”

Raven continued talking but Clarke was too lost in her thoughts and tuned all of it out.  
It doesn’t surprise her that her mum won’t make it but she can’t help but be disappointed, her mum loves John with all her heart but ever since Clarke told her about him and wanting to keep him, their relationship has never been quite the same. Still, she wishes she would put that aside to be a part of her son’s life.

“Wait what did you just say?”

“Oh he cried like a little ba-”

“Before that,” Clarke interrupted and watched and as confusion took over Raven’s face, “when you were talking about my parents?”

“Okay first of all, I’m offended you weren’t listening to my amazing story but yeah your mum can’t come but she can’t wait to see the pictures from the photo-”

“That. Oh crap,” she cursed under her breath and took out her phone, frantically texting her dad “I completely forgot about the photographer.”

“Okay you really need to stop interrupting me and don’t worry about it, you have the hot girl from the mall, she’s a photographer of some sort.”

Clarke sighs as they arrive to their destination and take a seat “Raven, even if I could get a hold of her the chances of her saying yes are so slim, it’s almost impossible to get a photographer during the holiday season.”

Raven shrugs and holds up a menu, “I still think it’s worth a try”

 

* * *

 

The duo walk into the café, finding a table immediately. Their waitress comes to the table and offers a kind smile, “my name is Cos-” she stops mid-sentence to look up and notices Clarke, her smile widening “it’s nice to see you again.”

Raven raises her eyebrows at her friend who turns to look at the waitress and smiles, “what are the odds huh?” she chuckles and Costia hums in agreement.

“Well it _is_ morning so I assume you’re _not_ going to have the burger, so may I take your order?” she asked, pen in hand and notebook ready.

“Yes of course, I’ll have your chocolate chip pancakes with a latte and she’ll have your blueberry pancakes with a hot chocolate, with extra whipped cream.” Clarke said with a smile.

Costia took their orders, “Lincoln will bring your drinks in 5 or so minutes and your food should be done in 15 minutes, is there anything else before I leave?”

“Oh yeah please could we get some more water?” Raven asked.

“Of course, coming right up.” Costia replied with a smile and walked away towards the kitchen.

“Please tell me you’re hitting that.” Raven said and Clarke choked on her water, causing the Latina to erupt in laughter.

“Why is it that you assume I’m having sex with every girl that smiles at me?”

Raven shrugs and takes a sip of her water, “because almost every girl you smile at or vice versa, gives you ‘sex me’ eyes.”

“Sex me ey- I actually don’t want to know.” She says, shaking her head wishing she could wipe off the smirk on Raven’s face.

Raven inhaled sharply her nostrils and breathed out a content sigh, “this place smells like heaven feels,” and Clarke nods as she remembers the first time she came here, yesterday.

“I’m surprised you haven’t come here before, O is the one who recommended it to me.”

A giant of a man, imposing in the weakest form of the word, armoured in thick muscles and large hands approached the table with a tray of drinks. If he didn’t have such soft eyes and such a sweet smile, Clarke would associate him with a double agent but he has the air of a man who enjoys baking and keeping fit.

“Two glasses of water, a latte and a hot chocolate w-”

“With extra cream.” Raven finishes for him as he puts the drinks down, flashing a smile in his direction, which he happily returns.

“Enjoy your drinks” he says, still smiling, and walks back to the bar.

Ten minutes after the drinks came and a heated conversation of blueberry pancakes versus chocolate chip pancakes later, the duo spots Costia heading towards them with a tray and two steaming stacks of pancakes and immediately clears space for their plates on the table.

“Blueberry pancakes for you and chocolate chip pancakes for you,” she says placing the plates in front of them, Clarke opens her mouth to speak, “I’m guessing you would like some more drinks?”

Clarke closes her mouth, both her and Raven nodding at their waitress who only smiles and shakes her head, “coming right up and enjoy your meal, oh don’t worry Clarke, I will too,” she finishes off with a wink and walks towards Lincoln.

Raven raises her eyebrows and Clarke avoids her gaze, “you did it again didn’t you?”

“Shut up. I wasn’t built for social interaction okay?”

Raven smirks, “clearly but we can discuss your awkwardness another time, the pancakes are calling.”

Clarke grins at her friend, “bon appétit.” She raises her fork and clinks it against Raven’s before they both cut into their pancakes and moan.

“Holy mother of Christ I think I just came.” Raven moans and Clarke smiles as she enjoys her own pancakes.

 

* * *

 

 “Oh look who it is?” Raven announces as a girl in a leather jacket and skinny jeans makes her way into the café and heads to the bar, where Lincoln and Costia reside.

Clarke’s eyes dart up at the girl who now has her back turned to the, and she will deny this to her dying breath, but in that moment she couldn’t have been any more grateful for the invention of skinny jeans, because this particular pair, hugs the girl’s ass so perfectly it’s unfair.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” A girl with cheekbones so sharp they could slice glass speaks as she catches the gaze and smirks.

“She would but your friend is the photographer here,” Raven answers with a wink and the other girl’s smirk only widens.

“Touché, would you like to join me for a drink?” This catches Raven off-guard and she’s at a loss for words at the straightforwardness.

Clarke laughs, “Would you look at that? Someone who finally got her to shut up. We just finished here and I think if she drinks or eats anything else, I’ll have to wheel her out of here.”

This makes the girl laugh and she picks up a serviette to write her number down, handing it to Raven, “call me when the cat gives you back your tongue.” With a final wink she turns on her heel and catches up with the girl she walked in with.

Clarke watches them interact and when Lexa smiles, she can’t help but feel warm inside so she gets up and approaches them, leaving behind a shell shocked Raven.

“Alexandria?” she asks and Lexa turns around to look at her with an eyebrow raised, confused at first and then a smile settles on her lips.

“That would be me but please call me Lexa”

“Lexa.” She repeats. Lexa, Clarke loves the way her name flows off of her tongue.

“Have I done something wrong Princess Clarke?” she asks, a teasing smile playing at her face.

“Actually, your duties are needed but not for me but my son, John? I believe you two have met.”

Lexa takes your hand and moves you into a private booth, “is this about the picture because I can have it taken down I didn’t mean t-”

“Lexa,” she interrupts, “you’re rambling.” A faint blush settles on the other girl’s cheeks and Clarke can’t help but think she looks adorable, “-and no it’s not about the picture, I loved the picture and the caption, they were perfect this is actually about my son’s birthday party.”

She smiles, “go on.”

“Well, I really need a photographer and I know this is a lot to ask of you, especially since it’s the holiday season but I really have no other option a-”

“Who’s rambling now?” she says with a playful smirk, “I’ll do it. John is a great kid and I’d love to take pictures of him and his friends at his party, when is it?”

“A week on Saturday so, exactly a week before Christmas.” Clarke says and Lexa nods, pulling out her phone and handing it to Clarke, “what are you doing?”

Her smile never falters, “we’ll need to keep in contact and I don’t have your number so I need you to type in your details and we can discuss this further when we’re not preoccupied.”

Clarke reaches for her own phone to reciprocate the action, the two swap phones again a minute later. “Alright, talk to you soon.” she says with a smile as she gets up from the booth.

Lexa follows, “you’ll be hearing from me very soon. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

Clarke turns and finds Raven looking at her with a knowing smirk plastered on her face, “okay so you’re not banging our waitress because you’re busy banging her, I see,” she says and earns herself a slap to the arm.

“Why am I friends with you?”

“Because even though you won’t admit to it, you fantasise about having sex with me and I occasionally let you see me naked,” she says with a shrug, “oh and I’m awesome.”

Clarke settles the bill and leaves yet another generous tip, the duo exit the cafe and instantly miss the warmth, the aroma and the accompanying smooth jazz as it’s replaced with icy wind, exhaust fumes and the sound of impatient drivers sitting on the horn.

 

* * *

 

When Clarke gets home, John’s still not back and she takes the opportunity to finally clean up the apartment, finding an insane number of grease stains on her shirts, something she’ll have to talk to Raven about later on.

As time passes by and the temperature drops, Clarke lights a fire and settles on the couch with a blanket over her legs, a book in her hand and tea on the side table next to her. She is so enthralled by the book that she starts to wonder why it took her so long to start reading it.

Forty-five minutes, five chapters and two cups of tea later, her eyes start drooping so she sets the book down and gets ready to take a nap. Just as she’s losing reality, her phone lights up with a new message.

 

 

 

> **[21:32] Sexy Photographer:** hello

Clarke looked at her phone and shook her head, amused. Of course she saved herself as that into her phone.

 **[21:33] Mall Princess:** sexy photographer? really?

She didn’t have to wait long for her phone to ding again, but she was only half disappointed when it was from Lexa.

 

 

> **[21:33] It Happened Once In A Dream:** tell ur photographer chick  
>  that she can invite her sexy friend to the party.

**[21:34] Eagle One:** ur rly going to use my son’s party to pick up a girl?

 

 

> **[21:37] It Happened Once In A Dream:** why do u sound surprised?
> 
> **[21:37] Sexy Photographer:** yes I thought it was fitting

**[21:38] Mall Princess:** ur disgusting

 

 

> **[21:38] Sexy Photographer:** ???

Clarke swore that technology was out to get her and every piece of technology hated her and right now she could make a pretty convincing case.

 **[21:38] Mall Princess:** no no no that was a mistake  
I meant to send that to my friend because she wants me  
to invite ur friend to John’s party so she can  
flirt with ur friend

 

 

> **[21:39] It Happened Once In A Dream:** heelllooooo??

**[21:40] Eagle One:** yes raven I will

 

 

> **[21:40] Sexy Photographer** : oh she's already invited  
>  herself, claimed to be ‘helping’ me.
> 
> **[21:45] Sexy Photographer** : so I guess im  
>  bringing my friends along?

**[21:52] Mall Princess:** if u don’t mind

 **[21:52] Mall Princess:** sorry my parents  
just brought john home and im tucking  
him in

 

 

> **[21:54] Sexy Photographer:** tell him I say hi or  
>  I guess goodnight?

**[22:01] Mall Princess:** he mumbled goodnight to u too so, the party

 

 

> **[22:02] Sexy Photographer:** ah yes, duty calls  
>  well u could come by to my studio and I could show u  
>  some shots and u could tell me what u want?

**[22:02] Mall Princess:** sounds good, address?

Lexa texted her the address and the two continued texting until eventually Clarke fell asleep and woke up in the middle of the night to get into bed. As she plugged her charger into the phone she saw a message from Lexa she hadn’t yet read.

 

 

> **[0:23] Sexy Photographer:** of course you fell asleep on me  
>  sigh this has got to stop happening :P well I hope the princess  
>  gets her beauty rest and is up and ready at 8 for our big date  
>  and if you only see this in the morning then get up, I don’t  
>  like waiting, even if the person im waiting for possesses  
>  ethereal beauty.
> 
> **[0:25] Sexy Photographer:** day* looks like my phone hates  
>  me too :P sleep well x

 

* * *

 

“When are you going to woman up and ask this girl out?” Costia said, coming out of Anya’s bedroom.

“I really don’t understand you people, you stay up so late- I want to go home.” Lincoln whined as Anya prepared yet another pot of coffee.

The three girls laughed as he begrudgingly brought the cup containing his remaining coffee to his lips, pulling a face at the bitter taste.

“Are you even listening to us?” Anya asked looking at her little sister who was smiling at her phone, when she got no reply she took the phone from her hands.

“Hey!” Lexa protested, “and yes, I’m listening now give it back,” she demanded, lunging towards her sister, who simply stepped out of the way.

“Ah yes, duty calls well you could come by to my studio and I could show you some shots and you could tell me what you want.” Anya read out loud and Lexa’s cheeks flushed red, “what are you? An awkward pubescent boy?” she sneered and threw the phone back at Lexa.

“She said yes,” Lexa announced and there was a moment of silence before the celebration began.

Lincoln put his arms around Costia and Anya and wiped a faux tear, “would you look at that? Our little girl is going to get laid, they grow up so fast.”

Lexa glared at them “get out of my apartment.”

Costia walked up to her and pinched her nose, “technically, it’s Anya’s apartment and we’re not leaving because you told us to,” she exchanged a few words with Anya before heading to the door. Lincoln stood waiting and Costia turned around as she approached him, “have fun on your date.” She said with a wink before closing the door behind her.

_Lexa: 1.5 Anya: 5 Costia: 1_

Anya would disagree with her scoring system but getting a ‘date’ with Clarke had to count for something. If it were up to her, she’d give herself 10 points but Anya would just accuse her of cheating.

“Go to bed, don’t want to be late for your date,” Anya jibed, “it would be a shame to keep the princess waiting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in my defense, I've been stressing over exam results coming out soon and could barely do anything creative but wow almost 2000 people have read this and it's honestly so overwhelming, thank you for reading I hope you keep doing so and the next chapter is pretty much 1000090990% clexa + fluff :) (also sorry for the lack of john)
> 
> talk to me on tumblr @ ttoxiccity


	4. Beautiful, Kind and Gentle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the day with clexa and john. it's cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know it's been ages i'm sorry *offers cookie* (this was meant to be posted on christmas eve, oh well)

Clarke woke up with a smile as she recalled yesterday’s events, she rolled over and her smile only widened as she read over the conversation she shared with Lexa. She turned again and realised she wasn’t alone.

John slept soundly beside her and she felt her heart swell with joy at the sight of her son sleeping peacefully next to her.

“You look nice.” John yawned as he sat up, acknowledging his mother.

Clarke looked at him with a smile, “thank you baby boy.”

> **[03:37] It Happened Once In A Dream:** yeah no i can’t sry

Clarke cursed under her breath. She’d sent Raven a text asking if she could take John for the day and after 7 minutes of panicking, she took out her phone and typed out a quick message.

> **[07:46] Mall Princess:** john’s coming  
>                                                                                                                                            **[07:50] Sexy Photographer:** cool  
>                                                                                                                                                         u only have 10 minutes  
>  **[07:53] Mall Princess:** shut up i’ll make it

Clarke arrived at the address that Lexa had given her, the building resembled an abandoned warehouse.

“You’re late.” Lexa said as the duo walked into her studio, her tone was serious but the smile on her face suggested otherwise, “it’s supposed to be really cold so I got us some drinks from the cafe.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“Hey little man.”

Lexa’s greeting caused John to acknowledge her “You’re the photographer with the ugly sweater,” Lexa smiled at this and he added, “thanks for the hot chocolate.”

“Anytime, do want to see something cool?” The little boy nodded and proceeded to follow Lexa into a room.

It was always the room hardest to find in the building, it was after the second flight of stairs and in the cubby past the set of windows that arranged light in a floral pattern. It had a faerie-sized door, about four feet high, which opened onto a short staircase. The room was eerily scarlet when the lights flickered on, and it only seemed natural to leave the door firmly shut.

The hobbit living in there would tear you apart if you opened the door and ruined one of her photos, what seemed similar to a washing line was strung up strategically from one side of the room to the other, and bore sheets of shiny paper in various sizes. Images were slowly developing - natural scenes, from trees to a couple casually sharing a milkshake. It was a big room, but cluttered none the less, and it's atmosphere seemed to scream _don't touch anything._

John gaped as his eyes scanned the contents of the room and turned to face his mum and her ‘not-date’. His eyes were begging for permission to go inside and Lexa smiled and nodded, watching as he took tentative steps into the room.

“This is-”

“-the darkroom.” He finished off for her with a smile before continuing to explore.

Lexa and Clarke stayed by the door, watching him as he took in each and every detail of the room.

“How come there are no pictures?” he asked with his brows furrowed, _clearly_ confused. In every movie he’d seen, there were always pictures being processed.

“Well, that’s because I haven’t taken any pictures worth processing recently.”

The confusion didn’t leave his face, “well, you took pictures of me, why not process those?”

Clarke chuckled softly, “well baby, we only met Lexa a couple of days ago when you pointed out how terrible her sweater was, wouldn’t you be slightly creeped out if she had pictures of you in her studio?”

He raised a curious brow and hummed as he considered it before saying, “no. I’d be flattered, I mean mum, have you seen my face?”

Clarke rolled her eyes with an amused smile tugging at her lips, “of course I have, you’re going to break some hearts one day.” She walked up to him and placed a kiss on the top of his head.

“Mmm, Lexa?” Lexa looked at him and raised a brow, to show she was paying attention and he continued, “can we go out and take pictures to process?”

“Of course.”

* * *

 

It was cold, really fucking cold. John walked a couple of steps in front of Clarke whilst Lexa and Clarke watched as he tried desperately to hide the fact that he was cold.

Clarke sighed louder than she intended, causing Lexa to look at her, “you alright?”

“Why won’t he just admit he’s cold?”

Lexa smiled, “Clarke, are you telling me that when _your_ mum told you to bring a sweater and you didn’t you’d admit you were cold?”

“Okay no but he’s going to freeze.”

“He won’t, c’mon.” Lexa said gesturing in his direction. He had stopped by a fountain with icicles hanging from where the water would usually flow, even she had to do a double take. She knew it was cold but not _that_ cold.

“So how’s it going?” Lexa asked crouching down to his level as he took another shot of the fountain.

“It’s going awesome. Your camera is so cool thank you for letting me use it!” he exclaimed with the widest smile gracing his face.

“Hey anytime, maybe next time I can show you my other cameras.”

“You have _more_?”

Lexa smiled and nodded. “I do, can I see some of the pictures you took?”

He nodded and brought the camera up to Lexa’s hands. She flicked through the pictures, they were simple but effective. They weren’t the type of pictures that were thought-provoking but rather the kind of pictures you see and make you smile. She liked them, a lot.

“These are very good but I do have to say one thing,” she changed her expression and watched as panic flashed in his eyes before continuing, “you’re a first-time photographer and you’re not wearing any of the appropriate attire.”

John raised his eyebrow in confusion as Lexa wrapped her scarf around his neck and gave him her gloves “you have to wear the photographer scarf and gloves. I don’t make the rules.”

“Is it _always_ a scarf and gloves?” Lexa nods. “Even in July?”

_Shit. He’s clever._

“Yup, even in July but like I said, I don’t make the rules.” John gave Lexa a questioning look before shrugging and putting the gloves on and retrieving the camera from the photographer.

Behind her, she heard faint clapping sounds, “well done Lexa, very well done.”

Lexa smiled and stood up, burying her hands into the pockets of her jacket, “why thank you, I do try my best.” She said with a bow before sighing, “the only problem is that now, my fingers will probably freeze off and I’ll be the most useless lesbian ever.”

Clarke chuckled, “I’m sure we can think of a way to keep your hands warm.”

“Oh yeah? What’s th-” Lexa’s sentence is cut short by the feeling of Clarke’s hand in the pocket of her jacket, lacing her fingers with the brunette’s. Lexa looked up at Clarke and they exchanged a smile before walking in the direction of the excited little boy.

Clarke and Lexa sat down on a bench while John took pictures of everything he deemed worthy. The duo immersed themselves in conversation, failing to notice when they became his muses.

“I’m hungry.” He said squeezed himself between the duo.

“You spend too much time with Raven.” Clarke said with a chuckle.

“Well, what would you like to eat? I can call up the cafe so it’s ready by the time we get there.”

“Can I have _anything_ I want?”

“Absolutely.”

“Wait,” he turned to face Clarke and smiled his signature smile, “can I have anything I want mummy?”

“Yeah, you _definitely_ spend too much time with Raven. Quick question, what did Monet’s father want him to be?”

“Easy. A grocer.” he said smugly crossing his arms across his chest.

“I’m guessing that means I can make the call?”

* * *

The trio walked into the cafe and Clarke and John occupied a booth while Lexa went into the kitchen.

“Hey Lincoln, I’m here to pick up the order I placed earlier?”

His eyes widened, “oh my god Lexa I completely forgot!” He waited for horror to strike her face before laughing out loud.

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t and here’s your food,” he said giving her two plastic bags, “how’s the date?”

Lexa’s cheek darkened in colour and she swears it was due to the heat in the kitchen. “It’s not a date,” she said grabbing the bags and walking out.

“My place or yours?”

“My apartment is a mess and you have to be at least level 5 booty call to get in.” Clarke said, causing the girl beside her to giggle.

“What level am I on?” Lexa asked, a grin toying at her lips.

“Oh honey, you haven’t even plugged in your controller.”

\---

Lexa’s apartment was nothing like Clarke had expected. From what she’d seen, Lexa seemed collected- but her apartment gave a different impression. Post-It notes and pictures, both in frames and not, littered the walls.

“So, this is home.” She said sheepishly as she flipped on the switch, “make yourselves comfortable. I’ll get us some plates.”

A couple of minutes later, Lexa found herself sitting on a couch with John’s head resting on her lap and Clarke next to her while the opening credits to _A Dennis the Menace Christmas_ played in the background.

“This is my favourite christmas movie.” John said snuggling closer to Lexa, “don’t Christmas movies rule?”

Lexa smiled, “they do and you know what’s awesome?”

“What?”

“You can watch Christmas movies until February.”

Clarke scoffed, “you just made that up.”

Lexa placed a hand to her chest. “I did not. It’s like an unspoken rule. You can watch Christmas movies from November to February but only til the 13th because on the fourteenth you have to watch romances.”

“You and Octavia are going to get along great.” Clarke said smiling as Lexa reached for her hand.

“Is she the short angry one?”

“ _All_ my friend’s are short and angry.”

“Well, I’m not _that_ short. I mean, I’m taller than you.”

“By like a centimetre and what makes you think you’re my friend?”

“You’re mean.”

\---

“Well isn’t this adorable” Anya said as she walked out of her room and into the lounge. both girls turned to face her and shushed her, signalling to John who was sleeping on their laps. “Oh, shit. Sorry.”

“Where are you going?”

“On a date with your girlfriend’s friend. Please don’t have sex on my couch.” She said before placing a sloppy kiss on Lexa’s cheek and walking out.

“I’m sorry about that, she has no filter.”

“It’s okay, neither does Raven. They’ll get along great as well.”

Clarke let out a short laugh but the little boy on her lap groaned. Lexa would always be the first to admit that if she wasn’t already mid-air with her heart in her mouth- the way Clarke stifled her laugh and clenched her lips together into an awkward smirk would have made her fall for the blonde.

Lexa reached out- her hand shaking slightly as she attempted to brush a spare strand off of her cheek. She missed of course, and Clarke reared her head back to avoid being poked in the eye. “Oh God- um-” Lexa stuttered which only resulted in another short peal of laughter escaping the blonde.

The brunette was so disoriented that Clarke couldn’t help the giggle again. “Smooth.”

“Don’t make fun of me.” Lexa pouted.

“But it’s so fun,” Clarke muttered, her giggling dying away as her attention was drawn to Lexa’s lips.

“Oh shut up.” Her words were almost lost to the kiss that followed them- it wasn’t madly passionate, instead it was slightly sloppy and foreign and tasted like hot chocolate. Both girls grinned when their lips parted.

“Um… Ew?” John was staring at them from his place in Clarke’s lap with wide eyes and a crinkled nose and Clarke finally allowed herself to laugh properly- joined by lexa ofcourse.

“We should get going.”

“Let me drive you.”

“I couldn’t- ah fine c’mon. There’s no point in trying to argue with you.”

Lexa smiled and grabbed her keys. The car ride was silent but it was anything but awkward. The silence felt comfortable, the question that was hanging in the air making it harder to breathe had _finally_ been answered and Lexa could relax.

Clarke couldn’t shake the memories of kissing Lexa. It had only happened a couple of minutes ago but it felt like longer. The kiss was everything she needed but it brought across a whole new set of questions. Is this _really_ something she should allow herself? How would this affect John? Her mind was racing but all she could think about was the fact that Lexa kissed her and every time she was close to her, she found it difficult to breathe.

“I’ll walk you up.” Lexa offered as she unbuckled her seatbelt.

“Should I even bother trying to convince you that you don’t have to?”

“If it means I get to spend more time with you then yes, go ahead.”

Clarke smiled and looked down, “goodnight Lexa and really thank you for the amazing day it was well...amazing.”

“Thank you for letting me take you out. When can I see you again?”

Clarke smiled again and this, this is something Lexa could get used to. “You’re starting to sound desperate there, Michael Kenna”

Lexa laughed, “I’m serious. When can I see you next?”

“Well, I’m going to be really busy the next few days with party planning and everything so unless you’re interested in-”

“Yes. I will go shopping with you Clarke.”

Clarke raised her eyebrows and scoffed. “I didn’t even ask you. But, yes, I suppose you could come.”

“Just tell me when and where and I’ll be there.”

“Okay Edward Cullen can I go inside now? I’m freezing and I think my son is too.”

Lexa smiled and kissed Clarke on the cheek. “Goodnight Clarke.”

Clarke got into the elevator, opened the door to her apartment and tucked John into bed before collapsing onto her own bed.

_What a day._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all have no idea how long i've been staring at my computer trying to squeeze this chapter out of me. I kinda got stuck but I think my gears have been oiled and I'm back in business :) clexuhtrash on tumblr x


End file.
